More tranny stories later!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
