I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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