I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
