I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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