Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
