The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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