i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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