I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize