brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
