do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
