Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i out mim tonsoeep
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