4 words: hood of his car
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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