What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
