it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
