wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
