We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
