Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I need water and some morals
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
