If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
