What tipped you off? The sombrero?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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