is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
