Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
