That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
