Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
