Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
