Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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