So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
