I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
