But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
