Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize