dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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