Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
