Dual....:-)
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
