we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
