I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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