wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
