Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
