I got chris browned last night
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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