There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
