Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
3 2 1 whiskey
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
