I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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