i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
