I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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