I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
