shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
