You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
