So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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