I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
