1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
