you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
