Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
