When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
