Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
