R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
this just has baby written all over it
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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