I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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