Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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